I was at the gym this past Saturday morning—this is where my most avid television watching goes on, as it provides a 5% distraction from the horror show then going on in my muscles and cardiovascular system—and I realized something.
There were… no cartoons.
The cardio section was a sea of flickering images, turned to a variety of channels, and even at prime kid-viewing time, there was precious little to look at. A spot of anime over here, some retrenched My Little Ponies over there.
Where’d they go?
Swallowed by the Internet and cable television, I imagine. The major networks farm the time out to local programming and news programs, because… never enough analysis there, apparently. We are a long, long way from The Smurfs, Transformers, and Alvin and the Chipmunks, followed by a rousing round of Hulk Hogan at noon, that witching hour of weekend animation.
But today’s children have on-demand viewing, not only online, but thanks to DVD’s conveniently equipped with “quick play” features. Exhausted parents, understandably desperate for an uninterrupted fifteen minutes to address the overflowing toilet, have access to a time-buy that our own moms and dads could only dream about.
Let us also lay the blame for the dearth of Saturday morning classics at the doorstep of, ironically, such cable networks as the Disney Channel. What was once a gentle collection of Walt’s classics and a few episodes of Spin and Marty is now a media tsunami of computer animation and tween-targeted live action. You want to put your talking chipmunk up against Hannah Montana?
To its credit, the Disney Channel did offer House of Mouse for two years, which spotlit classic characters and animated shorts. But banished to Disney Cinematic in the UK, and largely half-hour tie-ins with feature length films remain.
The Smurfs are now available on DVD, I understand. It’ll be nice, at least, to experience that with my nephews without a barrage of Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials.
