Coverage of this year’s World Cup has been stunned by the… well, coverage. When headline driver Matt Drudge leads the page with blaring images of vuvuzelas and newsflashes concerning the elimination of powerhouses like Italy and France, that’s a good sign that pro-soccer is seeping into the public consciousness. You don’t see Drudge flailing on curling rumors.
But on this go-round, the American team has shocked the pundits by sliding into the Round of 16 (I assume this is a good thing.) ESPN (DISH 140) aired the match which put it there, but coverage didn’t dare disrupt usual weekend morning programming on ABC (DISH 73.) YouTube videos of Americans packing into bars at 10 AM to watch the match, however, just might change that.
But once the World Cup is done, will the sudden interest in pro soccer continue? The almost palpable dislike many Americans hold for it explains a lot about why, for example, Columbus’ pro soccer team (Yes! Columbus has a pro soccer team! They’re called, for some reason, the “Crew!”) is struggling to find minority investors.
And yet, on any given fall Saturday, each suburban public park and school field is crammed with soccer game upon soccer game. I played as a fullback and a halfback for twelve years myself in a community league– but cannot recall a time when I’ve actually sat down to watch five consecutive minutes of pro soccer match, let alone an entire game.
Having seen interest wax and wane along with failed Triple Crown threats in Thoroughbred racing, I’m thinking this might be a one-shot pro soccer interest spike. Once this tournament is done, a four-year gap will grind by before the World Cup comes around again, and besides…
-Exposure to soccer tends to come from watching little kids, many of whom suck, play in all sorts of horrible weather
It’s just not a part of the culture the way basketball, football, and baseball are… yet. There’s a reason why Field of Dreams isn’t set on a soccer field.
When I mentioned the World Cup to my mother, the very first words out of her mouth were, “I hated soccer season. HATED. IT.” And who could blame her: My sister and I had games scheduled at 7 AM on a Saturday morning on the other side of the state, and my parents had to drive us there. I have fond memories of the smell of the grass, the satisfying thwack of the ball on the side of my shoe, the rare treat of a cold can of pop after the game. My mother? Driving her weekends away beginning at 6 AM.
-Like I said: Many Americans, like me, tend to kind of suck at soccer
I mentioned that I played in a community league. Did I also mention that league rules stated that each player had to be on the field for at least two quarters? Do you know why this was? So that every kid had a chance to play, no matter how bad her or she sucked. And I really, really sucked.
My family calls the youngest division of community soccer The Packers. Not because we live in Green Bay. Because all they do is pack around the ball, unclogging only when it somehow squirts free, at which point all 22 small children chase after it and pack around again. Repeat for 60 minutes.
Few players are as lame as I am and insist upon continuing to suck at this sport for over a decade, which means that Packers is the impressions many Americans are left with. A pro version of the same game, however, is quite different. For instance, most of the players are almost completely potty trained.
-Not unlike a vacuum, American nature hates a tie
Boy, do we not like ties. We will glance through ESPN headlines to ensure that we know how a three-day match at Wimbledon ends, but we will not put up with any sister-kissin’ ties.
