http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/ The dish on DISH - our take on the best shows, channels, and events on DISH Network. en Copyright 2009 Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:36:18 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss MTV's Video Music Awards. With his career in one hand and the microphone he'd snatched out of Swift's hand in the other, West magnanimously informed Swift that he'd "let her finish in a minute," then announced to one an all that he considered his friend Beyonce the winner. As media splashes go, this was a cannonball. The story was granted above-the-fold status on The Drudge Report, and DJ's buzzed for hours between spins: "Does this guy just base his entire career on making idiotic comments on live television?" one asked, invoking West's utterly inappropriate and obnoxious "George Bush hates black people" rant during a Katrina benefit, all spewed as an increasingly suicidal Mike Meyers shared the camera frame. But this comment ignited far more outrage. Why? Admittedly, I'm no fan of Swift's--she announced "I sing country" before West snatched the mike, and I would dispute both "sing" and "country"--but really... why? I can't remember a time I,or anyone I know, watched either a music video, MTV, or a music video on MTV, and yet, here we are in this post. All it took was the sad news of Patrick Swayze's death to conflate the two stories: "YO PATRICK SWAYZE I KNOW YOU JUST DIED AND ALL AND IMMA LET U FINISH," read one tweet, "BUT MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH WAS THE BEST ONE THIS YEAR." This is perhaps a Michael Vick moment, the football player who became a 215-pound hate magnet when he was convicted for running a dog fighting ring, despite the fact that professional sports are rife with sexual assaulters, DUI kings, and perpetrators of assault. We live in a scream-saturated society; you see the tweet quoted above, a slash of capital letters using the name of a cancer victim in a joke barely twelve hours after his death. How is it our society is all right with that... but not with West's decided lack of tact in the presence of a living person who could defend herself? I'll let you finish.]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/the_microphone_cord.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/the_microphone_cord.asp Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:36:18 -0500 $ale of the Century went off the air, and it was all downhill from there, straight into the OJ trial. And now, WGN America (DISH Network 239) is for one night recreating what was perhaps the strongest sitcom lineup in the history of television: Thursdays of 1984. The network is running the bloc in order, just as it did in The Year of Mary Lou Retton, and and it's doing it just as viewers slog through the usual parade of lameness which is a new television season. The stunt takes place on Sunday, September 20 (oh, what a nostalgia bomb this would be were it actually dropped on a Thursday.) Beginning at 8 PM EST, it includes The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Cheers, and Hill Street Blues. I haven't dug up which episodes are going down, or whether or not they'll all be shows from the same date. I have my fears, if non-1984 liberties are taken. Oh please, don't let the program director pull from the Great Cosby Era of Suck, which may be dated from the first moment the Cosby home played host to a be-ruffled Raven Symone, four years old and already finding it necessary to go about with a last name. And oh please, don't let this be one of the many Very Special Episodes which waterfalled from the Keaton kitchen, especially the one with Elise's suddenly dear-to-the-family aunt contracting Alzheimer's. Big laughs! It's bound to be a bittersweet experience: For all its strengths, How I Met Your Mother's MacLaren's Pub is no Cheers. But for one brief sitcommy moment, jelly shoes are worn, cola wars are raging, and OJ is starring in The Naked Gun. Enjoy.]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/1_8.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/1_8.asp Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:49:51 -0500 wrote of Erich Kunzel in the wake of PBS' broadcast of A Capitol Fourth that “next year’s show wouldn’t be the same without its most reliable sparkler“ I was rather hoping that, at worst, he might not feel well enough next year to take up the baton. After all, at the Fourth of July rehearsal concert I attended, Kunzel bantered with Big Bird in his usual high spirits, but sat when he could, something I’ve never seen him do in thirty-two years of growing up with him as the maestro of my hometown’s Pops. I’ve since learned that he was in agonizing pain for the duration. He died this past week, just a few weeks after conducting his final concert in the city where he founded one of the most formidable Pops orchestras on the planet. “Hey, I made it!” he said to the cheering crowds, but one of the musicians later reported that he conducted in tears. He knew. A memorial concert is planned in Cincinnati next month, using music Kunzel pre-selected. He knew. I raise this topic in a column about television not because Kunzel started in so many Cincinnati Pops and National Symphony Orchestra specials, but because he embraced what television is all about: Making entertainment available to the masses. The almost paradoxical idea of spreading musical appreciation didn’t daunt Kunzel. He employed indoor fireworks, costumed characters, and Christmas trees which rose from beneath the stage. For an MTV era, he was well aware that strings and brass simply weren’t enough for some viewers. He wanted to make music a visual medium. He knew. And now Kunzel leaves behind not only his specials and hundreds of recordings, but his protégé, Keith Lockhart, now the conductor of the Boston Pops. Young Mr. Lockhart learned well from the master; while touring with his own orchestra recently, he wasn’t above unfurling an enormous American flag from the ceiling of the hall at a particularly patriotic moment. Erich Kunzel began in an opera pit, toured the globe, and ended in a little amphitheatre by the river in the city he made to sing. He could have made his last concert anywhere, with any selections, but Kunzel chose to stick to the orchestra’s usual schedule—this was about the music, not him. He knew. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/the_prince_of_pops.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/the_prince_of_pops.asp Fri, 04 Sep 2009 23:23:53 -0500 I Love” series (DISH 162, various times.) Originally released as “I Love the ‘80’s” in 2002, the series featured cultural commentators as well as actual participants in the decade’s most memorable moments. “Yeah, I was kind of everywhere, wasn’t I?” confessed a then-thirty four year old Mary Lou Retton. It was a fun program, with just the right mix of nostalgia and snark. Just enough time had passed between the Regan administration and the air date to gain the very first glimmers of historic perspective. But then came “I Love the ‘90’s,” and… then… well… what happened two years ago. At that point, you’re just mocking last year’s jeans. Doubtless there will come a day when we as a country will snicker in utter embarrassment over our national obsession with American Idol and Dancing with the Stars, but that day has hardly landed within the calendar confine of 2009. My generation—I’m thirty-two—was at the back edge of this. The first national event most of us could grasp was the loss of Challenger, and most of us didn’t witness the tragedy live. We saw it via Big Three replays, and replays, and replays. CNN was around, but the bottomless pit which is the cable news monster was just beginning to develop its appetite. And so thanks to those of us in the media who provide instanalysis, many schoolchildren don’t necessarily have to provide their own, or they mirror what’s already out there 140 characters at a time. We’ll probably all laugh about it very hard on “Hey, Remember 2009?”, due out next January 1. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/instanalysis.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/instanalysis.asp Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:57:43 -0500 The Big Bang Theory (DISH 107, Mondays, 9:30 PM) tonight which threw down a cultural marker which in ten years will either be quaint or hideously dated. Ten years or ten minutes. The episode focused on the general inability of one of the main characters to maintain a romantic relationship, and his roommate’s horrific attempts to “help” him cement things with a new love interest. In the middle was an undercurrent of angst on the main character’s part: Was he even in a relationship? When to assume he was? Would he ever be in one? The resolution came swooping in when Mr. Horribly Fix-It hacked his roommate’s Facebook account, setting his “relationship status” to “single.” There was much freaking out until the love interest, too, set hers to “in a relationship.” “Well, I guess I’m in a relationship!” the happy new boyfriend beamed, with his girlfriend who knows how far away. A deft commentary, to be sure, on how current social mores come to pass. What’s pushy? What’s not? Do we have to have The Talk before resetting that status? What if someone “un-relationships” before the relationship has been officially undone? Relevant questions for 2009, and episodes such as these could serve as handy time capsules in years to come. “You see, kids, your mother and I met on a forum for collectors of vintage staplers, and then she set her Facebook status to “in a relationship” with me, and I couldn’t bear to say anything, and, well, here you are.” But what if, like Will and Grace, the up-to-the-second references simply make the show very stale very fast, giving it all the cultural lasting power of a daily soap episode? Seinfeld, like both Bob Newhart sitcoms before it, solved the problem by tackling timeless social issues. Yes, there were shoulder pads, leisure suits, and teased curls, but the classic nature of the material superseded the stamps of the age. It’s a gamble, but, at the moment, it’s an entertaining one. Pass the passwords. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/in_a_relationship.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/09/in_a_relationship.asp Tue, 01 Sep 2009 03:01:28 -0500 Top Gear unspools an episode. Researches were shocked, shocked! that Americans then downloaded the most recent show to the tune of 300,000 over just a few days. The practice was referred to as “socially acceptable pirating,” which, I suppose, is an echo of “you can’t steal what you can’t buy.” That’s ridiculous on its face—there’s no way the Louvre is selling the Mona Lisa anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to swipe it for my dining room—however, it is understandable that when fans of an overseas show can’t quite get their hands on it, they’ll turn to the torrents. This attitude is common amongst fans of the cult classic Mystery Science Theater 3000, which ran for ten years, but its earlier episodes are scarce. However, many fans who offer episodes electronically pull them the moment it becomes available on DVD. The credo here is "If you can get it, get it; if not, we've got it." For its part, BBCA does a largely craptastic job in quickly making its most popular programs available in the US. Top Gear, for instance, just finished airing its thirteenth season, but has only now, with great fanfare, begun airing the seventh. Never mind that host Jeremy Clarkson’s hair has suddenly gone non-grey and in one episode made a reference to the then-alive Paul Newman simultaneously owning a race team and a Prius. American fans eager for more recent Brit-clips are often less than thrilled to discover that many legally offered videos on the BBC website are geoblocked, and in Top Gear’s case only Season 10 of the series is available in region-friendly DVDs. Where else to go but the web? Legal? No. Moral? …Ouch. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/3_9.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/3_9.asp Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:36:07 -0500 Desperate Housewives. Courtney Cox is back in—no, really, this is the actual name of the show—Cougar Town. Cougar Town. What was once a youth soccer league team name now becomes a comedy on ABC (DISH 73, Wednesdays, 9:30 PM.) Here’s the pitch on ABC’s website: “Can a woman of a certain age be a mom, a successful career woman and still on the prowl? Jules Cobb (Courteney Cox) is about to give it a try in Cougar Town—the comedy that dares to tell the truth about dating after divorce.” Well, good heavens. Sounds groundbreaking. I enjoy a good comedy that dares to the tell truth about dating after divorce. Let’s ask One Day at a Time about it sometime, shall we? And no doubt this is a comedy, if it purports to portray Cox as “a woman of a certain age.” She’s pulled, lifted, and tanned within an inch of her former Friends life, and according to the previews, all Women of a Certain Age who are also busy mothers and career women strut through cocktail parties, have juuuuust the right shade of lipstick, and land frat boys. If Cox isn’t living in that ridiculously underpriced Manhattan loft anymore, she’d better double- check that her street address isn’t Wisteria Lane. The site further promises that “40 is the new 20!” and that there’s already a “Top Five Fan Questions for Cougar Town.” It seems just another one of those frustrating mainstream media memes that there’s nothing wrong with growing older—and then continues to glorify youth. Speaking of, if you miss Cox on Friends, she’s easily locatable on a syndicated rerun near you. Not sure if that’s a show which DARES TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING, but at least you’ll get to look at a pretty coffeehouse. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/2_11.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/2_11.asp Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:35:56 -0500 The Smurfs, Transformers, and Alvin and the Chipmunks, followed by a rousing round of Hulk Hogan at noon, that witching hour of weekend animation. But today’s children have on-demand viewing, not only online, but thanks to DVD’s conveniently equipped with “quick play” features. Exhausted parents, understandably desperate for an uninterrupted fifteen minutes to address the overflowing toilet, have access to a time-buy that our own moms and dads could only dream about. Let us also lay the blame for the dearth of Saturday morning classics at the doorstep of, ironically, such cable networks as the Disney Channel. What was once a gentle collection of Walt’s classics and a few episodes of Spin and Marty is now a media tsunami of computer animation and tween-targeted live action. You want to put your talking chipmunk up against Hannah Montana? To its credit, the Disney Channel did offer House of Mouse for two years, which spotlit classic characters and animated shorts. But banished to Disney Cinematic in the UK, and largely half-hour tie-ins with feature length films remain. The Smurfs are now available on DVD, I understand. It’ll be nice, at least, to experience that with my nephews without a barrage of Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/1_7.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/1_7.asp Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:35:43 -0500 Ice Truckers and American Loggers, and now we have the inevitable bastard child of the two. Extreme Logging: Ice Loggers (DISH 182, various times) is the latest offering of extremity, logging, and ice from the Discovery Channel. How is it different from its parents? There are still trucks, but for the most part they’re not driving on an ice road. And there’s logging, but the logs are largely frozen. That’s… about it. It’s an interesting look, however, at the industry. We tend to print our TPS reports, accept our cardboard coffee cups, and take our grocery receipts without thinking much about how that paper comes about. Although “save paper” and “recycle!” are popular mantras, it’s not the usual procedure to really wonder about the process which creates paper products. And why not? I refuse to watch this show with a dawning sense of horror at the falling trees; one of the miracles of living in an industrialized society is not having to think about where the water, meat, Slurpees, and, yes, paper are coming from. Like Mike Rowe’s brilliant Dirty Jobs, which highlights those who make life comfortable for the rest of us, Ice Loggers reminds us that those wedding invitations and glossy magazines gotta come from somewhere. But unlike Dirty Jobs, Ice Loggers has plenty of drama to go around. The employees share living quarters during the logging season, and the stress of the job does manifest itself. Viewers are encouraged to befriend the loggers as characters, just as in any other candid reality program. The show is also careful to show the employees adhering to environmental regulations and, well, wearing parkas and gloves. While this past set of episodes was too short to create much of an emotional attachment, future seasons might tell the story in better detail. And if nothing else… a frozen tree in a chipper does make a pretty cool noise. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/3_8.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/3_8.asp Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:03:54 -0500 20/20 (DISH 73, ABC, 10 PM, Fridays) recently aired an interesting hour on the rise and fall of GM. It was nearly everything that used to be good about the mags: actual investigative journalism, interesting interviews, tie-ins with popular culture. The show led, as a matter of fact, with a parade of GM cars which are now woven into the fabric of America: The Lunar Rover, the Batmobile, the Ghostbuster’s ECTO 1, and Knight Rider were all GM products. For a viewer unfamiliar with the cultural impact of GM cars, the montage served as an easily digestible history lesson. The special took the trouble to reach beyond the usual handful of economists and executives to tell the story. In a truly incredible moment of network non-pimping, NBC's Jay Leno and His Incredible Garage of Endless Cars was interviewed; Leno mostly played the chat straight, discussing the GM crisis in terms understandable for a non- gearhead. Also consulted? Tim Allen, who used to work for GM before making his fortune via grunting on Home Improvement. Journalist and author P.J. O’Rourke provided a consumer’s perspective—a funny one at that. Even the inevitable discussion of labor and management was evenly handled. Blame was sprinkled between both parties when there’s plenty to go around. While the special did its best to wrap on an upbeat note, it’s easy to see how quickly politics and special interests can throttle even the mightiest of private entities. We’ll see what happens next, but for now, I’ll stick with a Batmobile over the latest out of Detroit. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/2_10.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/2_10.asp Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:03:30 -0500 Urban Legends (DISH 119, various times) is the television version of the Internet’s supreme myth-debunking site, snopes.com. Featuring actors to deploy re-enactments as well as to throw viewers off the scent of the truth, Urban Legends takes on just about every ridiculous forwarded email to ever land in your inbox. While MythBusters prefers a head-on, quasi-scientific approach, the initial aim on Urban Legends is to deceive rather that debunk. Three stories are presented, but only one of them is real. You’ll get your answer in the absolute final seconds of the broadcast, of course, but it’s not all that difficult to tell the difference between the actual amazing cocktail party story and the tall tales which will orbit the Internet so long as we have electrons. The format randomly places the lone true story, but the giveaway here isn’t order. It’s presentation. While the actors portraying the re-enactments largely do so in pantomime, it’s the fake interviews that tell the story. An elderly woman telling the story of her hockey player brother’s death cannot help but mark the tale with genuine, if carefully controlled, emotion. Affecting such intense personal experience in such a way is a difficult challenge for both writers and actors. And what does it say about our society, that a show is produced about a woman whose contact lenses supposedly melt to her eyes while in a tanning bed and pet poodles stuck in microwaves is apparently necessary? Urban Legends is a weird cross of a nonfiction show, part reality and part pure script. But if it’ll stop just one insistent “READ THIS NOW!!!! DO NOT DELETE!!!!” forward about needles supposedly stuck in gas pump handles, I’m glad it’s around. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/1_6.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/1_6.asp Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:03:14 -0500 In response to declining viewership of Hollywood award shows, CBS has announced that it will include pre-taped segments in its Emmys broadcast on September 13 (originally scheduled for September 20, but scooched to make way for an NFL broadcast. Awesome.) It sounds like live broadcasts for awards for directing and writing are out, as are the announcements for some supporting actor and actress awards. Instead, the acceptance speeches will be taped, then played in the theatre. THRILL as presenter after presenter sweeps bejeweled hands in the direction of various screens! In all, eight will get the axe, all to save fifteen minutes of broadcast time. According to CBS, the purge took place to boost sagging ratings and “maintain(s) the integrity of the Emmy brand.” Wait, so… people aren’t taking advantage of the rare opportunity to see a live broadcast with lots of stars, and so the answer is to… shove more taped fun at ‘em? Because people will sit for a four-hour broadcast, but not a four hour and fifteen minute one? Maybe that’s not exactly the reason behind those hideous ratings. The Oscars haven’t been turning in stellar numbers lately, either. Maybe we’re tired of craptastic, formulaic sitcoms with weak male characters and insulting female ones? Maybe it’s because some of us are sick of being told that the absolute center of the universe is Manhattan, and in an emergency weather situation, that center shifts temporarily to LA? Maybe we’re utterly freaked out by the fact that Billy Mays commercials still shine forth? Maybe we’re tired of political activism masked behind crime dramas and sitcoms, and are further sick of said politics crammed down the airways during self-satisfied industry celebrations? Maybe we just want a good half hour or so in front of the screen to unwind after a long day at work. Just something solid and entertaining, smart and respectful. That’s all. http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/the_answers.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/the_answers.asp Tue, 11 Aug 2009 21:13:28 -0500 Ace of Cakes (DISH , Food Network, Sundays, 10 PM.) Amazing Wedding Cakes (DISH , WETV, Sundays, 10 PM.) Cake Boss (DISH 183, TLC, various times.) Ultimate Cake Off (DISH 183, TLC, begins August 31.) In recent years, personal cake making classes and supplies have quietly risen in popularity amongst the suburban set, with entire aisles in craft stores dedicated to colored sugar, pastry tubes, and stainless steel decorative tips. As a person who found it highly difficult to manage the ready-made plastic icing tubes which began appearing en mass in the ‘80’s, this is impressive. But what makes us watch others slave away before vats of sugar and… and more sugar? I imagine it’s the amazement at watching another human being say “Yes, I can create a Staples Center out of frosting and cocoa, and I’ll throw a basketball on top of it for good measure.” And then… go do it. Cake shows represent the ultimate reality show concoction: Dramatic personalities, a difficult task, and the voyeuristic thrill of watching someone else’s ridiculously lavish wedding (“Who has the money to spend on a ten-foot groom’s cake resembling a dragon, complete with occasional bursts of flame?!” “I don’t know, but let’s find out!”) Indeed, a recent episode of Amazing Wedding Cakes featured a customized cake for a wedding shower--- a wedding shower—which consisted of a treasure chest. It was completed and ready to go when the bride called, because you know what would be great? If the chest were halfway open! Ultimate Cake Off, not content to limit itself to pastrified hissy fits from the same old chefs, is a competitive reality offering. Contestants battle to create a five-foot cake in nine hours for “a marquee event.” The winning cake is offered the centerpiece for the to- do; everybody else gets to have a nice day, and add “AS SEEN ON ULTIMATE CAKE-OFF!” to the business card. Looking forward to it.]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/sugar_sugar.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/sugar_sugar.asp Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:22:29 -0500 One beer? Really? Who just has one? And there was more agreement, too, over the breathless coverage over the meeting. An audio recording of the assault of camera shutters recording the event for posterity sounded like some sort of mortar attack. Worse was the countdown clock—yes, the countdown clock—to the meeting visible on CNN and MSNBC. One network helpfully featured a clip art beer mug, complete with suds. It was news when the “summit” was announced. It was “news” when the meeting was moved from the picnic table near the Obama girl’s swingset to the Rose Garden. All afternoon, the updates and developments were flung. Meanwhile, Michael Jackson remained dead. This is clearly a function of too many wolverines, not enough rabbits. Oh, capitalism will eventually ferret out the weaker ones, sure enough, but in the meantime, there’s not enough original content to go around. That means absolutely mundane stories are often elevated to Drudge siren status, and CNN seems to have a Homeland Security Alert system all its own when it comes to new news, although the degrees are apparently a closely guarded secret. What, please, is the difference between “breaking news,” “developing story,” “new development,” and “Happening Now”? I suppose we’ll have to tune in to find out. But with ridiculousness like this—I will never forget the day I walk past a TV set tuned to Fox News, which broke into regular programming to announce that Madonna had fallen from a horse—fewer and fewer of us will be getting our news from television at all. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/sudsy.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/sudsy.asp Mon, 10 Aug 2009 21:10:35 -0500 Not Another Teen Movie Movie, which conflated all of Hughes' trademarks into one over-the-the top concoction, sent his characters to "John Hughes High School." That is some righteous homage-ing, right there. He had at least something to do with most of the non-action milestone movies of the era: Pretty in Pink. Sixteen Candles. The Breakfast Club. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Weird Science. Mr. Mom. Well, and Home Alone 4. And Beethovens 1 through 5. But still! Here's a man who seems to have earned his Beethovens. While doing some research recently, I came across this newspaper article from 1986. Go ahead and click. You'll sink into some weapons- grade nostalgia right down to your knees. By scrolling down the article, you'll see a newspaper ad for a new film called Pretty in Pink, which apparently opens the same day as the hideous- sounding My Chauffeur and even more hideous House. Moviemaking is sometimes lightning in a bottle, but even more often it's likable characters in the right place at the right time. Oh, and maybe with a little bit of help from an MTV premier special. RIP, John Hughes. You helped to preserve an era-- all the high hair, all the hats, all the enormous boomboxes. This '80's baby is grateful for the 90 minute time machines. ]]> http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/rip_john_hughes.asp http://www.dishpronto.com/sidedish/2009/08/rip_john_hughes.asp Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:17:38 -0500