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Who knows TV better than us? As America's largest online DISH Network dealer, we've got the inside dirt on the channels, shows, and events that keep you tuned in.
 Okay, so the new Burger King commercial? Hovering somewhere between “awesome” and “WTF.”
Burger King, which has been running with its mega-creepy plastic- head “living king” spots for the past few years, has now added the following to its weird roster: Placing said king, SpongeBob SquarePants, and… Sir Mix-a-Lot in the same spot.
Mr. Lot, still benefiting from the 1992 one- hit wonder “Baby Got Back” (which, yes, won a Grammy), doesn’t appear until the end of the ad, but that’s his rap single Burger King is parodying. (“I like square butts and I cannot lie!”) However, it’s not Whopper’s he’s pushing; it’s… kid’s meals.
You read that right. The campaign is part of a new promotion which advertises a free SpongeBob SquarePants toy in a 99 cents kid’s meal. But here’s the catch: That’s only available with the purchase of an adult value meal.
“Booty is booty!” announces Sir Mix-a-Lot in a cameo at the end of the ad. Well, perhaps. Consider the history of “Baby Got Back”: There was a time, difficult as it is to believe in this How I Met Your Mother during-the-family-hour era, when Sir Mix-a-Lot was considered too hot for that current doyenne of taste, MTV. Back when the channel actually played music videos, the one accompanying “Baby Got Back” was relegated to evening hours due to its sexual references.
As for this version of the Ode to Giant Lady Butts, it instead glorifies “square butts” and featkkures a shot of Creepy King measuring a model’s hinder. The ad was run during NCAA Final Four coverage. As for the asses of Burger King and Nickelodeon, they’re attempting to cover them with statements emphasizing that the ads are adult-focused, run during adult-targeted programming.
I've been filmed under TV lights before, and I've been on the edge of passing out before, but I've been blessed enough to never experience the convergence of the two.
Sadly for Columbia University organizational leadership professor David Buckner, they did yesterday. Live. While speaking with Fox News' Glenn Beck
(DISH Network , 5 PM EST), Buckner became increasingly pale and agitated as he stood with his host, discussing the state of the economy. "I'm passing out," he murmured to Beck a couple times before his knees gave way.
Beck went to a break and, on the other side of it, explained that Buckner had been ill. The show moved on. In and of itself, it was a moment of live drama and not much more. What's interesting is what happened afterwards: The Drudge Report picked up the story, then added a video. A few blogs linked in, and the moment became News.
Why? Is it because we're so used to our entertainment so processed and pre-packaged that any evidence of humanity or surprise reminds us that we're not alone? The phenomenon was also a fascinating barometer reading of the political edginess of the nation; no sooner did the clips appear than screeching comments did, too, blasting Beck. Obama, Bush, and anyone else within the political sphere. Even as the still image of Bucker pulsed forth from the screen, he lay ignored as the political firestorm raged.
That was live, too.
With the media splash heralding Jimmy Fallon’s ascendancy into Conan O’Brian’s chair comes a natural reassessment of the late-night comedy culture. They say that history is written by the winners, but current events are written by the comedians.
Stand-up routines, when touching on politics, might mock members on both sides of the aisle, but almost always uphold a certain point of view. A skit or monologue might mock a Democrat, but if it’s in the sense that the Democrats aren’t doing enough to advance a certain agenda, there’s a specific slant to the proceedings—not one consciously created, but if you’ve got a roomful of writers who all vote the same way, the obvious is going to happen.
When a public figure, fairly or not, finds a punch line attached to his name, it’s likely to follow him for the rest of his natural life. You may ask Vice President Dan Quayle about this. The current veep, Joe Biden, has unleashed any number of gaffes far more hilarious than the “potatoe” debacle (my personal favorites: Asking a wheelchair-bound state senator to stand up before a rally crowd, and, more recently, when asked the name of an Obama administration website during an interview, he turned to an aide to and demanded, “Do you know the website number?” Not much has been made of any this in the mainstream, however, and it’s a safe bet that worldviews are subconsciously behind it; if comedy writers are merely looking for a rich vein of material regardless of politics, Vice President Biden is the mother lode. However, since Biden isn't entrenched in the public mind as, er, less than intelligent, making light of such gaffes at this point probably won't make for very good laughs.
Watch the late night powerbrokers carefully to see if a Quayle-like process begins with our new Vice President. Once a public figure’s “identity” has been established, it’s a long, hard climb back from it. The punch lines are simply too easy, and with respect to comedy, one-note jokes become a vicious circle: Comedians and comedy writers depend on the public’s perception of a public entity, and return to it again and again in order to ensure the jab hits hone. Thus, the perception is exploited even as it’s created. Paris Hilton is going to have to do an awful lot of cloistered praying and charity work to lose the turboslut label, is all I'm saying.
I’ve never met any of these political players, but I do know that people are people. Joe Biden may misspeak, but he’s probably a pretty sharp guy in other ways. I’m also fairly certain that George W. Bush isn’t nearly as dumb as David Letterman would have me believe (his Yale grades are quite comparable to Vice President Gore’s Harvard transcript) that Bill Clinton has aspects to his personality other than that of horndog, that an unedited Sarah Palin is quite the smart cookie, and that Hillary Clinton can be quite charming.
But sometimes, the truth just ain’t so funny.
My very favorite aspect of The Biggest Loser (DISH local NBC, Tuesdays, 8 PM): Those gosh darn in- show commercials. You know, the ones in which the trainers engage in darling little commercial skits with the contestants, which are amusingly presented as spontaneous conversations: “Say, would you like to eat a sundae?” “I sure would, Bob!” “Well, it just so happens that I have here some sugar- free pudding cups, furnished by a company which also just happen to be one of our sponsors! Don’t forget to eat this facing the camera with the label pointed right side up!”
I love these! I really do! It’s the norm these days on reality shows, and quickly becoming so on dramas and comedians. (The entire Monday night block on CBS recently shoehorned the name of a car in to every single episode, a hamfisted gimmick the writers must have loved, and one which pissed me off so much I’m so not mentioning the name of said car in this space.) This is the executives’ battle against that sweet, sweet gift to the average television viewer: The DVR. Zip go the commercials, so the powers that be must find another way to bring us the glorious news about their amazing products.
The shilling is especially amusing on The Biggest Loser, since Jillian Michaels, although a perfectly fine fitness guru in most cases, won’t be picking up an Oscar any time soon. She waded through this week’s product push for a breakfast cereal with gritted teeth, then got on her radio show the following week to denounce the very same thing due to its high fructose syrup content. How delicious.
Here we sit just before the most television- centric day in the nation, and if you don't live in Phoenix or Pittsburgh, you're probably tuning in to see a few commercials. Maybe a little Springsteen. Probably you'll tolerate whatever's in the background as you head for the seven- layer dip.
My favorite moment? Few things in life beat seeing 300- pound screaming men run out of enormous inflated helmets. It's almost enough to make up for being subjected to the creepy, green- skinned talking dollar bill heads of one tax prep company which, as punishment, shall remain nameless here.
At this point, it's easy to gain publicity on the Super Bowl aisle by merely submitting an ad; one advocacy group and one (extremely, extremely) lame internet company purposely submitted "too hot for TV ads," then blasted press releases all over the world inviting the entire universe to view said ads online when the ads were rejected. There: Super Bowl- sized publicity, all for the cost of the ad itself.
Oh, and if you haven't noticed, the game is broadcast this year on NBC (DISH 214, kickoff at 6 PM, endless hype crap beginning at noon). The network cheerfully trumpeted itself on The Biggest Loser (DISH 214, Tuesdays, 8 PM) this week, and even though the contestants were filming the episode in August or September, they found themselves gamely making low-cal appetizers and chatting with Kurt Warner, who certainly wouldn't be needed in Tampa the last week in February.
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